hmm Sleeplessness strikes again

ok so its another twelve o'clock midnight post... sitting here bored and tired but unable to go to sleep so i am sitting here staring at the computer screen and wondering why i cant go to sleep. i found out earlier that my papa was taken to the hospital from what we think was a stroke. and now i know im not going to be able to sleep. and if i do it wont be well... and tomorrow i have to be up at 10 for chapel then class at 12 and then maybe going to get my tux if it is ready tomorrow and then tomorrow night i have our third soccer game. and im still drained from this weekend so tuesday i am going to be dead after our game tomorrow night and then tuesday morning i have to get up at 8 for class at 9:25 and then im not going to be able to catch up on any sleep and i dont know whats going to happen with my papa yet so i dont know how that is going to turn out. so i dont know exactly how draining this week is going to be. and honestly i dont know how much more i can take. im just going to hopefully take this week one day at a time and just make it to friday. cause friday will be good cause it's starshine and i'll get to spend time with melody and get to hold her tight as we dance through the night. and as long as i can get to then i will be fine.

the only thing keeping me calm right now is this v8 splash mango and peach drink... cause somehow peach is a very soothing taste for me... its soft and warm. it makes me feel at home wherever i am. i want to have a peach tree. cause i want to be able to lift my kids up to its branches and let them taste the same taste that i find so comforting now. that is a long time in the future but i just want to be able to pass something on to someone. im not sure why but i've always wanted to be able to do that. or teach someone a sport or something like that. i havn't been able to do that either. i just want for my life to count for something. me to have had some use in the world.

im just tired and want to sleep but i know sleep wont happen. so i'll try and go lay down and maybe sleep some...
:'(